Mixed Feelings...

This few days i was so moodless...
since i gonna have dentition this holiday...
U noe i was so scared of pulling teeth...
N U noe... the stupid dentist say pull 2 teeth a day...
Its juz like a nightmare for me since few days ago...
I cant even sleep properly...
Everytime when i wanna close my eyes...
I juz cant stop myself from thinking about it...
平时我天不怕地不怕的...什么都说随便拉...
this time i really cant comfort myself...
I really have mixed feelings for days...
N now i dunno wat will happen soon...

Anyway really want to say thanks to my frens...
The 1st person who i talk to is Xiu Yu i think...
She told me try to think 2 years later how would my teeth be...
N told me not to be scare...coz we have to pay to have better results...
N after that i think i talked to Kai Ho b4...
Hopes he wont cheat us...But how if he reali do...
No way we can stop him from doing something if he wants...
Later... I think i msn Ling Huey, Niwa, Coyin and sbd else...
Really thanks for their courage...

At night...i wanted to cry so much...
thats nothing can make me to be so scared b4...
Luckily i called Samuel...
N thanks for his words...
N thanks him for trying to comfort me so much...
He still tell me to think 2 years later how would it be...
Finally i cried...
Its more better than i keep everything in my heart...
About 11.45... I called Cheau Ya also...
the way she comforts me is so different...
She just keep on talking some funny things n make me laugh...
Or its just because i've cried just now and its more comfortable now?
I realli dont noe...

Today...even Qiqi sent message to me...
She juz tried to comfort me too...
Anyway...REALLY　THANKS FRIENDS!!!

Actually I've once want to give up...
I want to give up to my life...
I mean i dont want to change anything I own now...
I just want to be myself...
But the world is so realistic...
Everyone wants a perfect thing...
Thats no way for u to survive if u dont be that 99% perfect...
Thats our life...
Therefor the only thing i can do is juz give up to the world...
Just because of it... I have to accept the decision...
But it once make me have such a mixed feelings...
Once think of accepting it ...
N also once thinking of giving up to change myself...

Anyway...The only thing i can do now...
is just try to comfort myself...
I tried to tell myself to be tough...
But its so hard for me to accept it...
although i noe everything in this world is just like what happened in the FullMetal Alchemist....
Everything have its own theorem...
Just like everything have their equal values...
Its all only 等价交换...